| F R E Q U E N T L Y A S K E D Q U E S T I O N S |
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| I'm not American or British - can I still join MESSAGE ? | MESSAGE is open to English-speaking parents of all nationalities. The current membership is made up of one-third British, one-third American, and one-third "other nationalities", which include members from Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Singapore, Hong Kong, |
| Are all MESSAGE members Stay-At-Home-Mums? | No. About half of MESSAGE members are stay-at-home parents (mostly mums, but a few dads, too) with the other half at work either full or part time, in salaried employment or running their own businesses. MESSAGE tries to cater for everyone's schedules, planning activities in the evenings and at weekends, as well as on weekdays. |
| I've been living in France for 10 years - how useful would MESSAGE be for me? | Even if you've lived in France for a long while, perhaps you are a new parent and would like to discover the wealth of resources for babies and children in and around Paris. Or perhaps, as your family grows, your own Anglophone roots start to kick in and you'd like your children to know other bilingual families. Either way, MESSAGE can be of help. |
| My kids are all over 6 - isn't MESSAGE just for babies and toddlers? | MESSAGE does have many resources for pregnant mums, offers networking opportunities for mums with babies, and organises activities for toddlers. However, there is an active Primary Kids Group for children over 5, with structured activities taking place mainly on Wednesdays and weekends. Parents of older children also share their experiences of raising pre-adolescents and teenagers in the Kids Growing Older Group, through the online discussion forum and over regular lunch & dinner dates. |
| I work full-time - what MESSAGE activities would I be able to participate in? | There are a wide variety of activities scheduled each month either in the evenings, for parents - with guest speakers, or for dinner dates in a restaurant, or coffee & dessert in members' homes - or at the weekend, for families, in homes or in parks or museums. The online, members' only discussion forums are open 24/7 and the wide range of support services are available via email. There are even regular lunch-dates for working parents in different parts of Paris. |
| I don't have any "problems" being a parent - why would I need a "Support Group"? | MESSAGE provides a wide variety of parent-to-parent support services, which may include recommendations on where to find a medical specialist (fertility treatment, homeopath, ENT, paediatrician...), sharing personal experiences around a particular health issue (head-lice, glue ear, circumcision...), or giving practical help where needed (e.g. taking a member's child to the park when Mum's foot was broken or making a meal for a family with a newborn). Other issues may include serious illness, divorce, bereavement. While most members are happy to take advantage of the more social benefits of belonging to MESSAGE, it's good to know that the support network is there - if you need it. |
| It's Dad who is the English-speaker in our family. Can he join? | English-speaking fathers may become members of MESSAGE. While MESSAGE was originally founded as a network for mothers, father have always been welcome to come to MESSAGE activities with or without their partners. In 2003, the constitution of the association was changed in order to allow fathers to join as members in their own right. These include both working and stay-at-home Dads, who have their own discussion forum on our members' only website. |
| Will MESSAGE help my children learn English? | If you are actively bringing your children up as English-speakers, MESSAGE activities may help provide extra exposure to English as a complement to your other activities in English (speaking English in the home, bilingual schooling, books, television, radio...). However, MESSAGE does not provide English instruction by any means. The objective of the association is to provide a support network for English-speaking parents, with or without their children. However, other members may be able to recommend more formal English classes for your bilingual children. |
| Will MESSAGE help me find an English-speaking nanny for my child? | MESSAGE does not, as an organisation, provide a formal register of nannies, whether English-speaking or otherwise. However, our members-only website does provide space for members to advertise and recommend carers, and the discussion forums provide an area for exchanging experiences on all types of childcare (crèches, halte-garderie, public and private French and bilingual schools). |
| I'll be moving to France in a few months - can I join before I get there? | Yes, you can. If you are pregnant, or planning on moving with children, then MESSAGE can certainly help you find out about parenting in Paris before you come, and by keeping in touch with other members through the discussion forums, you may even make friends who will be waiting for you when you arrive. MESSAGE accepts payment for membership and for the "ABCs of Parenting in Paris" publication, by PayPal. |
| I live abroad, but come to Paris each summer with my children. Can I join? | Membership of MESSAGE is usually obtained for the calendar year. Exceptional cases are at the discretion of the President and the Treasurer and will depend on each situation. |
| Are all MESSAGE members ex-pats on short contracts, passing through? | Some are, yes. But not all, by any means. One of the best things about MESSAGE is that you do build up friendships with other parents, some of which last a few weeks, or months, others that last a lifetime. In a poll of 168 MESSAGE members in 2004, 45 had lived in France for 2 years or less, 38, for between 3 and 5 years, 30 for between 6 and 8 years, 25 for 8-12 years, and 30 for more than 12 years. Interestingly, MESSAGE also has members abroad, mainly people who once lived in France but who wish to remain in contact once they leave. |
| I live in the East of Paris. Do you have a group in my area? | If you live anywhere in Paris, or the surrounding suburbs, it is highly likely that other MESSAGE members live very close to you. As of end of year 2006, MESSAGE had over 700 members within Paris (75), just over 600 in the surrounding départements of Ile de France (77, 78, 91, 92, 93, 94 & 95), nearly 30 members elsewhere in France, and another 30 outside of France in 14 different countries from Italy to India. MESSAGE splits the membership into 18 different Areas for administrative purposes, and it is more likely that you will come across people who live close to you than those who don't. But wherever you live, you are not limited to activities in your own Area, but welcome to attend any, anywhere. |
| I'm a single mum. Would I fit in with MESSAGE ? | Of course. MESSAGE even has an active single-parent group, to share the specific challenges that this situation brings. However, single parents are more than welcome to join in all MESSAGE activities - be they mums or dads. |
| Where is MESSAGE's headquarters / meeting place? | MESSAGE has no central office, and no paid staff. The association in entirely volunteer-run, with all social activities held in members' homes or in rented halls for larger meetings, with many outside activities during good weather, in parks or at museums. |
| What language are MESSAGE activities carried out in? | All MESSAGE activities are in English. |
| If I join, will I be expected to help organise events? | No, although you are very welcome to do so. You are welcome to attend events taking place throughout MESSAGE and to benefit from the support services offered - bearing in mind that all activities within MESSAGE are organised by members on a volunteer basis. You might find that you would like to develop your skills through participating in running the association in some way, rather than hosting events, but either way, there is no obligation to do so. |
| Can my child's nanny / grandmother bring him/her to MESSAGE activities? | Yes, so long as you, the parent or guardian, are a member of MESSAGE and have authorised your child to be accompanied by another, English-speaking person. |
| What types of activity does MESSAGE organise? | Members are free to organise activities and outings that are appropriate for the ages of their children or their own parenting interests. These might include: a morning in a member's home for pregnant members to discuss health during pregnancy; an afternoon with toddlers in a local park; a structured morning's activity with 5-7 year olds making a family tree; an evening with a guest speaker on bilingualism and language development; a lunch-date for working parents to exchange tips on balancing home & work life. |
| How can I advertise my product or service to MESSAGE members? | MESSAGE provides a variety of advertising opportunities for reaching the membership of 1500+ English-speaking parents in and around Paris. As a non-member, you are invited to contact our Ads Coordinator (see contacts page), who will be able to advise you on rates for paid display and classified ads in the MESSAGE Quarterly Newsletter, in the Marketplace: our online ad space and the correct format in which to send your ads. MESSAGE members may, in addition to this, post classified ads – currently free of charge – on the members' only website. Please note that MESSAGE will only accept advertising which it deems to be of interest and appropriate to our members. |
| I am a MESSAGE member and I have lost my nickname and/or password to the members-only site. | Please send an email to login@messageparis.org stating your full name and the information you wish to obtain. A member of the web team will get back in touch with you as soon as possible (usually within 48 hours). |
| I'd like to join MESSAGE but don't have the financial means to do so. What options are available to me? | The purpose of MESSAGE is to offer support, advice and information to English-speaking parents regardless of socio-economic status. To this end, we will in special cases grant reduced rates to those who are unable to afford the member fees. Please contact the general information line (see contacts page) for more information. |
| I will be in Paris next month on vacation. Can MESSAGE help me find a babysitter, a doctor for emergency care, and a crib rental for use during my stay? | No, MESSAGE is a members-only organisation. At this time, we do not have the manpower to individually answer phone calls and emails dealing with these types of information requests from the general public. Many of these topics are covered in the MESSAGE publication: ABCs of Parenting in Paris. We invite you to purchase a copy to use as a general reference during your stay. |
